I Have Everything I Always Wanted

.....And it totally sucks. Sorry, this post is going to be a downer, so if you want happy smiles and pixie dust, this is not it.

Do you ever feel that way? OK, not everything sucks, but one thing in particular sucks. I have the job I have wanted for a really long time. I started wanting it in college and I worked really hard to get it. I started at the bottom and learned everything I could so that when I finally landed my dream job two years ago, I would be ready. And for the first year, I was. I rocked. I was awesome. I had a great project that had a lot of impact and everyone was happy with my work. Then the second year slowed down and things became a little bit repetitive. In fact, I would have told you I loved my job up until Christmas. The the rug got pulled out from under me.

Most of this started after I made a mistake. Not a careless one. Just an honest mistake. But it was pretty serious and I deserved what I got for it. I didn't get fired or suspended but I got the dreaded lecture from the boss. But part of that conversation was about how I had lost my passion for what I do. At first, I didn't agree with her. I loved my job, after all, so how could I have lost my passion. Then as I spent time reflecting on the last year, I realized she was right. I had lost my passion. The reasons were varied and not really my fault, but I don't have the first clue where to go from here.

So what do you do when the only thing you've ever known turns out to be not for you? I am daunted by the possibility of starting over. ((((Sigh))). This sucks.